WTF is this shit now?
I came back from a job interview yesterday and I was on my way to Tesco. I must say, I was hobbling along because I wore silly shoes, with a big hard wedge on them.
Two young black boys walked past me and one trailed behind the other like an ant. The one at the front said to me, in my face:
“Have you been having too much sex?
If my feet didn’t cane so much, I would have taken my wedges off and trust me, the police would have been there. Why in the earth is that acceptable behaviour ?
Yes, I was hobbling along because my feet HURT! Any person walking on the road can see that when a woman has been walking in heels for a while, she walks slower because them things hurt! I don’t have my Beyonce attitude nailed down yet.
It’s no big deal, but again it goes back to the whole idea of the easy street harassment of black women by black men.
Where are these boys’ fathers to teach them it is not acceptable to verbally attack women like that? The assumption of his question to me was that I was hobbling along because I am a whore.
WTF????
I would like to hear from sisters and brothers about why in the name this is continuing to happen.
Because adults are afraid of children. I have seen very few instances where an adult has stopped to intervene or respond to that kind of disrespect. I do understand that some kids may be menacing or there may be fear from family; but in many public situations this is not the case.
@Hathor, I 100% agree. I honestly was so shocked, and I have said things before when people have been rude.
You hit the nail on the head with with article. I am so sick of my people always making excuses for these good for nothing black men. I’m sorry but it must be said. We raise them to not have any respect, and when (god forbid) something bad happens, the mothers are so quick to say, “He was such a good boy.” They are out of control because we keep making excuses for them and as women we are settling for this behaviour.
“Why Is It Acceptable For Young Black Men To Disrespect Sisters?”
It’s not acceptable! No way! No how! But why does it keep happening? Not just to you, but to also other Black women… and to some very disturbing degrees in parts of the world! I just read an article about the epidemic of rape and physical intimidation of women in South Africa:
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/women-bring-rapists-to-justice/article1221556/
I don’t profess to be a social scientist or psychologist in any way, but I do feel that no positive male role models is one important factor. Therefore, it starts in the home. It just doesn’t takes a father to raise a man, but a father who is respectful and loving to the mother of his child(ren), provides a vital example to his son(s) of how to treat a woman and to his daughter(s) of how they should be treated by men.
My wife and I are very cognizant of how we treat each other, by words and deeds, around our son. He watches and mimics everything we do. My wife and I show our affection and respect for each other freely, so he is growing up to be very loving and respectful to us and others. He freely gives hugs and kisses and is learning to be respectful of others property and space. It’s an amazing thing to experience, to influence and observe the nurturing of a young man.
What gets me though is the deep affection and respect Black men profess to have for their mothers and other female members of their family, yet, are quick (in some instances like yours), to be so disrespectful to other Black women, especially their mate and/or the mother of their children! I am sure if the mother or sister of that young man told him that someone had said to her, what he said to you, and he knew the person who said it, it would no doubt lead to some sort of confrontation.
@Asa, I am relieved to hear that your wife & yourself are instilling fabulous values into your son.
I think it is DEEPLY important for young black men to be taught how to respect young black women, due to the over-sexualisation of the image of the black woman in the so-called media.
The behaviour of those boys worries me because talking about another woman’s sexual life in public is extremely disgusting.
It makes it seem like all black girls are ‘fair game’ sexually and I am not a pheasant, therefore I am not game.
Love. I’m reading Up From Slavery by Booker T. Washington. It is amazing the contrast between black culture today and then. The young boy who offended you is a victim. He has been taught to disrespect himself and others. Current culture is changing for the better. I can sense it. We just have to be patient and assist in the cleansing of current culture. If you can view these young people and sponges that simply absorbed the wrong essence. We have to help them rinse it out by being a good example and teaching them right from wrong. I don’t know the circumstances of your interaction with these young boys but, if the environment was safe I think you had an opportunity to teach them that their behavior was inappropriate by simply telling them. “Sweetie that is no way to talk to a lady. Your question is completely in appropriate. Look at my feet baby. When women wear heels their feet hurt not their sexual organs.” There is a bombardment of negative forces influencing OUR CHILDREN and winning OUR CHILDREN’S MINDS. If we are to win them back we must talk to them where they are, and bring them to where we are. My mind was once corrupted by popular culture, and through the grace of GOD I’ve been changed. Certain people said small powerful things to me that help change me more than any sermon, lecture, and definitely more than any criticism. Those boys can be changed. And all Young Black Men don’t disrespect women. Words are powerful and we manifest what we speak and think. The original disrespect directed towards our people in this country grew from slavery. The victims of this disrespect are now being blamed as if they originated it. To kill a weed you must reach the root. Please read up on the root of disrespect toward black women in this country and you”ll find that the behavior of the oppressed (today’s black men) is very similar to that of the oppressor (racist white men). When you identify that a mind has been poisoned you also have hope that the same mind can be cured, whether, black or white. We must first cure our minds of the misnomer that young black males are disrespectful to sisters and instead realize that we are very powerful beings that can change the minds of others through our example, kindness, intelligence, Patience and most importantly LOVE.
nobody is stepping up anymore. the culture of black men and women has been supplanted for a subculture of negro girls and boys. would be elders now follow youth culture.
what that boy sed is nothing compared to the disrespect that i see on an almost daily basis. women referring to each other as bitches; men too gutless to stand up to another man taking their frustration out on women. young punks calling me “son” or “kid” makes me wanna respond with blood-spilling violence. it is as insulting as a redneck calling me a “nigger”.
the social instability foisted on the ghetto has many problems, one especially rooted in police state repression. yeah, i sed it. police state repression. okay, try whuppin that kid’s ass and like the sista sed, the pigs be rollin up. lil kids mouthin off to adults in your neighborhood; whup they lil asses n you get sued AND charged with assault. police state. until you get ready to combat that, endure the humiliation.
Well, what he said to me was very disrespectful. I take sex very seriously and it is something that is personal and never to be aired in public domain, so for a boy who I do not know in any shape or form, to make a not-needed sexual comment is deeply offensive to me.
I’m curious. What did you say in response to this young man? If you said nothing, then there is the answer to your question.
The boy needed to be put in his place. I’m no longer of the mind that such people what to be raised to a higher level. Unfortunately, with the help of Black males, this mentality of low mindedness has crossed into what is now being taken as normal behavior. I agree with Asa on all his points and I raised three sons in the fashion Asa is taking and I applaud him for teaching his son how to be a gentleman. I believe there are a certain level of people in our “collective” that are content in their lot in life. I see exactly what Langalibalele sees and hears everyday.
Unfortunately, Young black men are not being taught by role models fathers the men in their life disrepect women and view siblings as seeds , futhermore young black women are not being taugt by role models mothers for instance a single mother is raising children who have diffrent fathers . I believe young men and women have no clue what respect is I recall see a young woman wearing a shirt that said I am a whore therfore men and women of interigty and good role models must take a leading role in teaching our youth
Black men disrepect black women because they are allowed to. What other race of people openly accept this type of behavior? I was watching one of those “judge” tv shows they other day, and a black man who is married to a white women, told the judge (who is black), that his wife was “getto” and if he wanted to marry a getto woman, he would have married a black woman. Often times, we (black people) allow our black men to disrespect us. We turn our heads and pretend like it doesn’t bother us. Well it should and until we stop talking and start acting, nothing is going to change. I cannot believe the negative things that come out of black men’s mouths about black women (and yes, some black women are just as guilty). We as a people have been/are disrespected by so many other ethnic groups, when are we going to learn- if you do what you always done, you get what you always got!! Enough is enough!! It is time we (black people) to responsibility and stop accepting and denying this disrepectful behavior.
Unfortunately the common perception is most black men are disrespectful. The reality is, most black men think like this brotha does:
Hot DAAAAAAYUUUUUUM!!!!!